When I was growing up, the Fox Theater in Springfield MO would show a different Disney matinee each Saturday afternoon, and so I got to see all the classics (and some not so classic) on the big screen.
But in the last 20 years, Disney has had no real creativity to it, if not for Pixar, I’m not sure that Disney would ever been able to purchase the Star Wars or Marvel universes, and might not even be going. The lack of new material out of Disney is truly disturbing, although some of their live-action remakes are actually pretty damn good.
Recently I made the mistake of watching another asinine video from the woke😝 fools at “watch mojo”, one of the internets collections of brainless little twits who wouldn’t know a good movie if a theater fell on them… with a dragon sitting on top of it. So, when they put out a video trying to rank the, Disney Live-Action Remakes, I just had to chime in.
1. Maleficent (2014)
This is easily the best of the bunch because it doesn’t give us a predictable copy of the animated original, it’s fresh, and creative as we get the point of view of the “evil” sorceress herself and learn that not all stories are as they were originally told, I personally like this telling more than the original. The story is inventive, the characters are strong and the actors are really into their roles, especially Jolie.
2. 101 Dalmatians (1996)
They got the description for this one mostly correct, Glen Close makes this film, REALLY makes this film, she is over the top but also still gives us just barely enough believability that you are hooked in and enjoy the ride.
3. Alice In Wonderland (2010)
I remember when I heard that Tim Burton was making this and how excited it would be to see his interpretation of this classic tale, and he really did not disappoint at all, it was incredible. Those at mojo didn’t seem to get it, they didn’t seem to understand it at all, but their videos normally show off that it doesn’t take much push to get something over their heads. This film is an all around visual delight, Depp is phenomenal at The Hatter, possibly his best role outside of Captain Jack Sparrow, he captured the real nature of The Mad Hatter. I’m wondering if the children are “watch mojo” have ever read ANY of these books???
4. The Jungle Book (2016)
This one they did get a bit right but also over praised it a good bit, it’s very well done and the talking animals fit in very well and it all seems visually believable, although it misses the mark of the colorful playfulness of the animated version. The voices are good, borderline on very good, but not great.
5. Dumbo (2019)
Again, the crew at mojo missed SO much on this one, but they were busy being “woke”😝 about the original and its “bad parts”, which in reality, were not and still aren’t, not for the era it was made. The film was a bit darker than the original and the humor went with it and was a bit more grown up (that explains why they didn’t get it). The lil fella is ADORABLE though… and the, “monkey in the desk” bit was hysterical!
Then there are two that aren’t even remakes/reboots….
Cruella (2021)
This isn’t a remake, it’s a prequel, “the making of Cruella” not a remake of, 101 Dalmatians at all. Unique and BOLD, this film deserves to be on many great lists. Stone isn’t Close, but she’s not trying to be, she’s being a young Cruella. Great flick!
Christopher Robin (2018)
This one isn’t a remake either, it’s a sequel, it’s what happens after Robin grows up, grows away from his friends from the 100 Acre Woods, and it’s magical to an older soul.
My guess is that as they get older, the folks at mojo will understand this film better, or maybe not, they are a bit thick. This movie is a reconnection to youth, letting one know that it’s okay to not totally grow up and that some thing, no matter how childish they seem, are worth believing in and worth holding onto.
Two very high honorable mentions here…
The Jungle Book (1994) & Mulan (2020)
Both of these are for sticking much closer to the source material, to the point that they aren’t remakes of the Disney animated films, they just have the same names and produced by the same company, again, another part of all this that just flew over their heads. Both are really great films! 👍
Then there are ones on their list that simply NEVER should have been made… remade… however you want to look at it...
Aladdin (2019)
Without Robin Williams, this remake shouldn't have even been considered. All respect to Will Smith but he just isn't in the same universe as Williams for this role. If they were determined to make this, it should have had a heavy rewrite and darker tone (no pun intended), for the big kids, instead of trying to copy Williams.
Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Now I am ALWAYS ready to see Emma Watson💘 on the big screen, that lil lady is a spectacular actress and to me, absolutely STUNNING! 😍 but the other characters just don’t do it. Gaston comes off as a really wimped out version of the original, the Beast looks like a bad oil painting and the other castle characters just have no real personality to them, like the plates, they are just flat. Then there is the “wokeness” 😝, the push of an lgbtq character on the film, it would have been no big deal if the media hadn’t shoved it down our throat… maybe that’s not the best way to put it… 😆
The Sorcerers Apprentice (2010)
Was just LOUSY from start to finish, why they even put it on the list is a mystery unless they just like hearing the sound of their own voice… which is most likely.
The Lion King (2019)
Although the thought of the visuals would be insanely great on a big screen, my interest stopped completely when it was announced that Beyonce’ and Oprah were part of the project, and after seeing it, it was just boring as hell, and the visuals were not as cool as a lot you get from the National Geographic Channel. This film is the epitome of showing just how desperate Disney is these days, it’s sad to the point of pathetic.
Lady and The Tramp (2019) and Pete’s Dragon (2016)
Were more of the same, showing that they just want to make a new film to see how much $$$ they can make, to hell with the originals. Both are barely watchable, not to mention the parts left out of Lady and the Tramp due to the mental illness of “wokeness” 😝.
Cinderella (2021)
Of all the animated Disney classics to put on the big screen in live action, THIS is one of the two tops to go for, along with Snow White, but it fell flat. Kenneth Branagh did a great job and it has some stunning visuals, but who cast the lead? Cinderella is supposed to be the definition of beautiful Disney Princess and that young lady is somewhat pretty… okay, not really, she’s just not, this character should be STUNNING Beautiful when fixed up, but … no. We’ll see what happens when Snow White comes out. If this makes me seem cruel or “mean”, to the small minded, so be it, even if it’s just an honesty you don’t like.
No comments:
Post a Comment